Suman’s husband comes home after a long hard day at work and plops on the couch. He then watches TV until he falls asleep. She understands and accepts that this is his way to relax and unwind.

But what is unacceptable to Suman is when he does the same thing even on his days off. Initially, she tried enticing her husband with interesting adventures but his passiveness and lack of interest demotivated her efforts.

Now, Suman wonders if she and her husband are even compatible and cannot help but question her choice of getting married to him.

Just like Suman, incompatibility plagues many marriages. Sometimes partners may feel incompatible at the very beginning of the relationship, and at times they may realize that the years of staying together have simply drifted them apart.

In this article, the expert marriage counsellor at Holistic Living Wellness Studio explains major reasons why couples feel disconnected, and how to tackle incompatibility and form a deep emotional connect with your partner.

Expert Marriage Counsellor Explains Why Couples Lose That Spark

Young love often sees everything with rose-colored glasses. I will give you my personal example. When I married Steve, I knew very well that he did not believe in grand romantic gestures and had zero ability to even pull off one.

I, on the other hand, loved grand gestures. I would go out of my way to plan things for him and ensure that everything is pompous and larger than life.

Steve’s lack of enthusiasm bothered me. However, I convinced myself that he would change.

Did he change? Not really.

That was Steve’s core trait and me expecting that everything would change after marriage was a tab bit unrealistic.

We fought a lot over that.

It almost convinced me that I had married the wrong guy!

But gradually I realized that I knew this trait from the very beginning and it made no sense to hate him for that now.

My point here is that you know many problematic aspects about your partner from the beginning of the relationship or marriage. It is your choice to accept them wholeheartedly instead of being in the hope that they will change.

Believe in their potential, but don’t hang your hopes on that.

Incompatibility does not magically appear after marriage. It is just that when the honeymoon phase fades away, you see them for who they really are.

Age or being in a long-distance relationship may affect compatibility as well, says expert marriage counsellor.

Another factor could be going through major life transitions.

Pregnancy especially largely affects the bond between partner.

Since a major chunk of your attention gets diverted to the kids, it is possible to feel a sense of disconnection with your partner.

Having said that, the most glaring reason for incompatibility is a lack of mutual efforts or laziness. I would advise couples to not get too comfortable. Taking each other for granted simply because you know neither one is going anywhere is a depressing mistake.

Expert Marriage Counsellor on How To Tackle Incompatibility

Resolving incompatibility in a marriage requires dedication, open communication, and a willingness to work together to find common ground.

As an expert marriage psychologist, I can offer you a comprehensive approach to addressing incompatibility:

1. Open and Honest Communication:

Openly discuss your feelings, thoughts, and concerns. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable sharing your perspectives without fear of judgment or criticism. Active listening is crucial here; each partner should try to understand the other’s point of view before responding.

2. Identify Core Values and Beliefs:

Identify what are your core values, beliefs, and priorities. Often, incompatibility arises when these fundamental aspects of a person’s identity clash. By understanding each other’s values, couples can work towards finding compromises or solutions that align with both partners’ principles.

3. Empathy and Understanding:

Empathy is the cornerstone of effective communication. Couples need to put themselves in each other’s shoes to truly understand the emotions and experiences behind their differing viewpoints. This fosters a deeper connection and helps dispel misunderstandings.

4. Manage Expectations:

Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and conflict. Set realistic expectations for each other and the relationship. This may involve examining societal influences, past experiences, and personal desires that shape your expectations.

5. Conflict Resolution Skills:

Learn how to solve problems as team, and avoid blame games. Couples should address disagreements respectfully and find solutions that meet both partners’ needs.

6. Quality Time and Shared Activities:

Engage in shared activities and spend quality time together. Finding common interests or hobbies can bridge the gap and create positive experiences that strengthen the bond.

7. Individual Growth and Development:

Consciously work on pursuing your personal interests, hobbies, and self-improvement. This not only enriches your own lives but also contributes positively to the relationship dynamics.

8. Seek Professional Guidance:

If incompatibility issues persist, consider seeking professional guidance from an expert marriage counsellor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide insights, strategies, and tools to address deeper-seated issues and facilitate productive conversations.

9. Appreciation and Gratitude:

Practice an attitude of appreciation and gratitude within the relationship. Regularly acknowledge each other’s strengths and positive qualities, which can help counterbalance differences.

10. Long-Term Vision and Goals:

Develop a shared vision for your future together. By setting common goals and aspirations, couples can align their efforts and work collaboratively toward a meaningful future.

11. Flexibility and Adaptability:

Please be flexible and adaptable in a relationship. Life circumstances and individual preferences can change over time, so couples should be open to adjusting their approach instead of giving up on their relationship.

12. Celebrate Differences:

View your differences as opportunities for growth and learning. When partners approach incompatibility as a chance to understand and support each other better, it can lead to a more harmonious relationship.

Addressing incompatibility is an ongoing process that requires patience, dedication, and a genuine desire to make the relationship work.

An expert marriage counsellor can guide couples through this journey, providing them with the tools and insights they need to build a strong and fulfilling partnership despite their differences.

How Marriage Counselling Can Help To Resolve Compatibility Issues…

Lack of compatibility can be a daunting concern in any marital relationship. It brings boredom, frustration, regret and disappointment that can get too challenging to manage. Incompatibility can stem from many factors such as age, long distance, life changes, poor communication, passiveness or lack of mutual efforts.

But wait, take a deep breath! All is not lost. Lack of incompatibility can be effectively resolved with honest communication, sharing activities that you both enjoy, embracing each other’s differences and even seeking help of an expert marriage counsellor if required.

Marriage counsellors at Holistic Living Wellness Studio specialize in helping couples overcome incompatibility and build a harmonious relationship.

Through personalized sessions, they guide couples in understanding the root causes of their differences and equip them with effective communication techniques to express their needs and emotions.

Marriage Counselling also includes activities and practices that reignite the bond and foster emotional intimacy.

Whether it’s addressing conflicts, bridging the emotional gap, or rediscovering mutual goals, the expert marriage therapists at Holistic Living work with compassion and insight to help couples create a fulfilling and loving partnership.

How To Book A Session With Expert Marriage Counsellor?

The Holistic Living Wellness Studio, located in Chembur and Bandra, Mumbai- India provides a seamless and quick booking experience. Call/WhatsApp to book your online or in-person appointment with top-rated marriage and family therapists.

We also offer a 10-minutes Free consultation to help you make the right decision. Quick, take charge of your relationship and start your journey toward a loving, fun, and passionate marriage. Don’t wait – CALL NOW!

The post Expert Marriage Counsellor Advice On Dealing With Incompatibility first appeared on The Holistic Living.