Aishwarya and Rishabh have been married for 12 years. Currently, they are living apart together – A growing trend also known as LAT.

Living apart together is an arrangement where couples in a committed relationship choose to live separately. Contrary to traditional marriages, where couples cohabit together, LAT partners live in different homes while enjoying the perks of a committed relationship.

We asked them – How does it feel to live apart together?

This is what they said:

“It is quite the rush, honestly. We stayed together for 12 years and we were turning into a boring, monotonous couple. So, we decided to add some spice and decided to become a LAT couple. Now, it feels like we are back to our engagement phase! No more arguing about throwing out the thrash, or watching too much TV. We both enjoy our personal space, and look forward to meeting each other again”

Living apart together may sound unconventional, but it has been around for the longest time. Relationship experts at Holistic Living Wellness Studio claim that LAT or living apart together was common in the past. However, it was mostly because couples had no other choice. For instance, when one partner has to relocate for work or other purposes, or cannot live together due to financial concerns. 

But today, living apart together has become a conscious choice.

In this article, expert relationship counselors at Holistic Living Wellness Studio why couples are opting for LAT, and if it’s the right choice for you.

What is Living Apart Together?

Living apart together also known as LAT is a growing trend where couples in a committed relationship choose to live separately. Whether married, or in a long-term relationship, LAT couples share everything together except their homes.

Why Do Couples Choose LAT?

Aishwarya and Rishabh choose to live apart together because they wanted to add some spice in their dragging marriage. This is just one of the reasons why more and more couples are opting for LAT. 

As per research conducted by top relationship counsellors at Holistic Living Wellness Studio, here are some reasons why living apart together has become a popular trend:

1. Need for Independence

In hectic lives, overcrowded spaces and running time, having your personal or ‘me’ time has become sacred. Many couples prefer the peace of living alone. This increased need for independence or autonomy has driven couples to live apart together. This way they can enjoy their space while maintaining a committed relationship with each other.

2. Career & Lifestyle Differences

Couples with careers that demand frequent travel or relocation often choose to live together separately. This way both can maintain their career and social life without one person having to sacrifice. Moreover, some couples may have different lifestyles. For instance, one partner may have a morning person while the other may be a night owl. These differences may seem harmless but in the long run they can create friction. By choosing LAT, couples can avoid these differences, enjoy their personal interests and still enjoy the perks of a committed marriage.

3. Financial Concerns

In cities like Mumbai, New York, or London, affording a spacious home in a good location can be challenging. Instead of compromising on a cramped living space, couples may choose to stay in separate homes that suit their individual budgets. Moreover, to avoid financial pressure, some couples choose to live apart and manage their financial expenses separately. These financial limitations can push couples to adopt living apart together arrangements.

4. Focus on Well-being

Some couples believe that living apart together has proven to be better for their mental and emotional well-being. Staying together 24/7 can bring its own set of challenges. Heated arguments, disagreements or conflicts can create stress and tension. Living apart together allows the couple to cool off and avoid these issues, consequently maintaining peace and harmony in the relationship.

5. Tax Benefits & Inheritance

Many couples choose a Living Apart Together (LAT) arrangement to avoid legal and financial complications like tax benefits, inheritance issues, and financial independence. Cohabitation can sometimes lead to higher taxes, affect government assistance, or complicate inheritance, especially for those with children from previous marriages. LAT allows partners to maintain financial autonomy, protect personal assets, and avoid legal entanglements while still enjoying a committed relationship.

Why Has LAT Become So Popular?

“One of the biggest reasons why LAT has become so popular is because people are now aware that they have a CHOICE” says one of the relationship experts at Holistic Living Wellness Studio.

He continues, ‘’This was not the case in the past. In the traditional setting, married couples had to live together no matter what. But now, staying together has become more of a choice rather than an obligation”

The growing awareness around personal choice is perhaps an impact factor giving rise to LAT. Additionally, a team conducted more research to understand the reasons behind LAT’s growing popularity.

Here is what we found out:

Individualistic Culture

Living apart together provides a sense of autonomy or independence, something that is celebrated in individualistic cultures. The LAT model gives the best of both worlds. Partners can maintain their individualism and at the same time remain in a committed relationship. This has become a desired living situation for many couples.

Waves of Feminism

In many cultures, women are expected to live with their husband’s family after marriage. This setup is now considered unjust and orthodox. Women are vocal about their desire to live separately, finding LAT a rewarding experience. Moreover, living apart together provides women a sense of freedom and control, further fueling this relationship trend.

Evolving Society

Society has become much more tolerant of personal choices and desires. Instead of shaming individuals for forging their own path, we are now more open-minded and accepting. This shift in attitude has encouraged couples to live apart together without being shunned by the society.

As society continues to embrace personal freedom and evolving relationship dynamics, Living Apart Together (LAT) is becoming a widely accepted choice. With greater awareness, shifting cultural norms, and a stronger emphasis on individual autonomy, LAT offers couples the flexibility to build fulfilling relationships on their own terms.

Pros of Living Apart Together

Personal Space & Freedom

Many couples value their independence and need their own space to thrive. For example, Priya and Arjun have been together for five years but live in separate apartments. Priya enjoys unwinding with a book in the evening, while Arjun prefers late-night gaming. Living apart allows them to maintain their individual routines without disrupting each other.

Lesser Conflicts & Arguments

Sharing a home often brings up small but frequent disagreements—who does the dishes, how the bed should be made, or whether the AC should be on. In a LAT arrangement, couples avoid these daily frustrations, leading to fewer arguments. Riya and Karan, for instance, found that living apart helped them communicate better and appreciate their time together more.

Reduced Responsibilities

Living together means shared responsibilities like household chores, grocery shopping, and bills. LAT couples don’t have to deal with these additional tasks. For someone with a busy career or personal commitments, this can be a stress-free way to sustain a relationship.

Focus on Individual Career & Interests

Many couples in LAT relationships choose this lifestyle to focus on their careers or personal growth. Take Meera, a freelance artist, and Sameer, a corporate lawyer. Their demanding schedules make it hard to live together, but staying apart allows them to chase their professional goals without sacrificing their relationship.

Cons of Living Apart Together

More Financial Pressure

Maintaining separate homes means paying for two sets of rent, utilities, and household expenses. For couples with financial constraints, this can be an added burden. For example, Ayesha and Rahul enjoyed their LAT lifestyle for a year but later moved in together to save on expenses.

Insecurities & Emotional Distance

Physical distance can sometimes lead to emotional distance. When couples don’t see each other daily, insecurities might creep in. Sneha often found herself wondering if her boyfriend, Vikram, was truly committed to her since they didn’t share a home. She missed the everyday comfort of having him around, especially on difficult days.

Superficial Bond

A committed relationship is about sharing both the good and the bad. LAT arrangements may allow couples to enjoy the best moments together while avoiding the struggles of daily life. However, real intimacy often comes from overcoming challenges together. When Amit lost his job, his girlfriend Rina supported him emotionally—but since they lived apart, he felt lonelier than he would have if they had been under the same roof.

Lack of Future Vision

For couples who dream of starting a family, living apart together might not be ideal. While it works well in the short term, it doesn’t always provide a foundation for a long-term future. Neha and Siddharth loved their independent lifestyle, but when they started discussing marriage and kids, they realized that living separately wouldn’t work for them in the long run.

Is Living Apart Together Right for You?

Not all relationships thrive under the same conditions. For some couples, Living Apart Together (LAT) can be a refreshing and practical arrangement. Here are a few situations where LAT might work well:

Long-Term Couples Seeking a Fresh Start

After years of marriage, especially once the kids have grown up and moved out, some couples find themselves feeling stuck in a routine. Moving into separate spaces while still staying committed can reignite the excitement in the relationship. Take Raj and Anjali, married for 25 years—when their children left for college, they realized they had lost their individuality. By living apart, they were able to rediscover themselves while still cherishing their bond.

Couples with Demanding Careers

For couples with busy or unconventional work schedules, living apart can help them maintain their relationship without sacrificing personal or professional growth. For instance, Aman, a doctor, and Riya, a travel journalist, struggle to find time together due to their careers. LAT allows them to focus on their jobs while making the most of the moments they do spend together.

People Who Value Personal Space

Some individuals need their own environment to feel at peace. Introverts, for example, may find constant cohabitation draining, even with a partner they love. Having separate living spaces allows them to recharge while still being in a committed relationship.

Partners with Different Lifestyles or Habits

If a couple has vastly different routines—like one being an early riser and the other a night owl—it can lead to daily conflicts. LAT helps maintain harmony while preserving the connection. Meera, a yoga instructor, and Varun, a software engineer, found that living separately allowed them to function better without clashing over sleep schedules.

However, expert relationship counsellor at Holistic Living suggests that LAT might not be suitable for:

Couples Planning to Start a Family

Raising children requires shared responsibility, and managing two households can be overwhelming. New parents often need each other’s emotional and physical support, making cohabitation a more practical choice.

Couples with Young Kids

Young children require stability, and living apart can make parenting difficult. Imagine having to coordinate between two homes for school runs, bedtime routines, and emotional support—it can be exhausting for both parents and the child.

How to Make LAT Work?

If you and your partner decide that Living Apart Together is the right choice, it’s essential to establish a strong foundation. Here’s how to make this arrangement successful:

Open & Honest Discussions

Communication is the key to any relationship, but even more so in LAT. Be clear about expectations, boundaries, and how often you’ll spend time together. Regularly check in with each other to ensure you’re both happy with the arrangement.

Mutual Decisions

LAT should be a choice made together, not something one partner forces upon the other. Make sure both of you feel comfortable with the arrangement and have equal say in how it works.

Loyalty & Trust

Since you won’t be seeing each other every day, trust is crucial. Transparency about schedules, social lives, and commitments can prevent insecurities and misunderstandings.

Put in Effort

Just because you live apart doesn’t mean you stop prioritizing the relationship. Plan dates, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and create moments of connection to keep the romance alive. For example, Arjun and Pooja make it a point to have a weekly dinner date, ensuring they stay emotionally connected.

Create a Long-Term Plan

LAT might work for now, but what about the future? Discuss your goals as a couple—whether you eventually want to live together, get married, or start a family. Having a clear vision prevents uncertainty and keeps both partners aligned.

Respect Each Other’s Independence

One of the biggest advantages of LAT is personal space. Enjoy your freedom, but also respect your partner’s choices. Avoid micromanaging their schedule or making them feel guilty for their lifestyle.

Final Thoughts…

Living Apart Together can be a rewarding experience when done right. It allows couples to balance independence and commitment while keeping the relationship fresh and exciting. However, it requires clear communication, trust, and effort to ensure that the emotional connection remains strong. If both partners are on the same page, LAT can be a fulfilling and modern way to sustain a loving relationship.

The post Living Apart Together (LAT): What Is It and How Does It Work first appeared on The Holistic Living.