Source: Felicia Simpson / Felicia Simpson

Why do Black women apologize for simply taking up space? We casually throw around the phrase showing up unapologetic, but we rarely talk about why so many Black women feel the need to shrink themselves at times.

On a gloomy day in New Orleans (Nola), a handful of determined Black women gathered in a quaint coffee shop to initiate an in-depth movement centered around the perplexing question many Black women have grappled with for generations: Why do Black women shrink themselves to make others comfortable?

The “I’m Not Sorry: A Black Woman’s Guide to Being Unapologetic” panel, led by Marsha Badger of Introvert N the City, Nola therapist Dr. Danielle Wright, and Nola nonprofit Black Women for Self (and sponsored by SheaMoisture and Olay), dove deep into the topic and went from a discussion to church quick.

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The panel gave Black women the space to not only learn more about the origins of our “shrinking” behavior but also the guidance to begin to release the socialization that has handicapped Black women for years. “It was powerful to witness the impact on the women who attended,” stated Dr. Wright. “The depth of their sharing, the warmth of the space, and the collective affirmation that we don’t need to shrink ourselves or soften our truths made the event feel sacred. We cultivated a space that wasn’t just about discussion but about a movement toward healing.”

Black Women Being Apologetic Is a Stress Response

Black women often feel the need to soften their presence, shrink their voices, or over-explain their choices, and according to Dr. Wright, this behavior is both societal and cultural. “Based on my anecdotal data and conventional wisdom, I think it’s a stress response. We are trying to please a person who’s causing a threat to our lives. We are trying to make a plea with who is presenting the threat,” the therapist said. The conversation continued to dissect the origins of this ingrained habit, provide actionable strategies for shifting our inner dialogue, and allow women from the audience to engage in meaningful dialogue.

This conversation was essential and the beginning of a movement toward Black women embracing their worth and taking up space. Black women, let’s be mindful of our tendency to apologize for our existence, wants, needs, etc. We deserve to live bold, healthy, colorful lives; shining is our birthright.

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The post From Shrinking To Shining: Inside The Panel That Reinforced Black Women’s Right For Space appeared first on MadameNoire.